Roger Moore goes undercover for the last time

author avatar by 7 years ago

Time has done what the Soviet Union, international assassins and a man with metal teeth could not, and robbed the world of Roger Moore.

Moore, who showed the world that a cream safari suit is no impediment to success with women so long as you’re charming enough, defeated a litany of the greatest foes ever arrayed against one man armed with little more than a quip, an ironic eyebrow, and a magnetic watch.

Moore had a number of successes in his career, including The Saint, The Persuaders, and copping off with a girl on the Space Shuttle whilst Margaret Thatcher watched.

Later in his career, Moore became a UNICEF Children’s Fund Ambassador where he used his influence to battle villains more terrible than anything fictional he faced – disease and ignorance.

Speaking from his volcano lair, Ernst Stavro Blofeld told us that whilst he always said he wanted Moore killed, that was all just talk and he always made sure there was a handy ventilation duct for him to make a last minute getaway through.

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“I may be an International Supervillain, he told us, “but I always had a sense of fair play, just like him.

“I just hope death shows the same sporting attitude. Without Moore around to foil my schemes, things just won’t ever be the same again.”