You can leave early if you want, EU tells Britain after hearing Eurovision entry

author avatar by 7 years ago

The EU has told The UK that if they’re not going to get into the spirit of Eurovision and enter a crap song they can leave right now.

Britain has been accused of ‘taking it seriously’ and ‘trying to win’, which completely contravenes what Eurovision is about.

The entry was singled out for particular criticism after judges noted that Lucie Jones can actually sing, which was described as an ‘unfair advantage’.

“Entering a decent song is against Eurovision and the European ideal”, said Jean-Claude Juncker, in English.

“If they wanted to leave that badly they could have just said, rather than undermining everything we’re trying to achieve here.

“Australia gets it. Their entry was bloody terrible and they’re not even in Europe. They even got their arse out, which truly embraced our objectives.

“We’ll waive the hundred billion leave bill if you just go without any more of that.”

Spain has already lodged a complaint in the belief Britain’s song – ‘Never going to give you up’ – was written about Gibraltar.