New Audis to come with pre-paid speeding fines

Audi has responded to new speeding fines by announcing that all new models will come with the first year pre-paid.

The fines, which are introduced today, will cost drivers a percentage of their income rather than a fixed fee.

Audi are understood to have reached a pre-pay agreement with the DVLA and have bought a bulk-rate fine – and will pass the savings on to their drivers as part of the purchase package.

Customers will be offered several packages ranging from ‘Footballers’ Wife’ costing £5,000 up to ‘Travelling Salesman’ which will add £25,000 to the cost of a new car but is expected to save at least that amount in fines.

“Audi drivers consistently exceed the speed limit by an average of more than twenty percent, which under the new rules will get very expensive very quickly.

“We considered installing a ‘pay as you speed’ meter in new models which would monitor how much you’re breaking the law and transfer the fines immediately by direct debit.

“But then we hit on the idea of buying a bulk speeding package which will allow our customers to drive as fast as they like for the first twelve months, secure in the knowledge that we’ve got their fines covered.”

Audi then asked what other features customers would like from their cars, but dismissed suggestions of indicators that work as ‘completely unachievable’.

Ford are understood to have approached the DVLA to discuss a similar deal for the new Focus ST, but were told the pre-pay fees would bankrupt the company.