There was nationwide joy today as hordes of uneducated dullards revealed their plans to simply draw a massive cock on their ballot papers this June.
With the UK looking forward to yet another fucking vote of some kind, it had been feared that the whole process would once again be tainted by democracy’s downside.
“Namely, giving dickheads the vote,” confirmed pollster, Jay Cooper.
“However, our early polls indicate that most of those people will be excluding themselves from the process entirely by reducing their ballot papers to litter, which is brilliant news.
“Especially for me as I’m a Tory voter and this just makes things even funnier.
“I think they believe it’s a clever form of protest, but honestly it’s the political equivalent of taking a shit on your own dining room table – nobody knows what you’re trying to say and chances are it’s going to affect nobody but you when you realise you’ve done something rather silly.”
Moron, Simon Williams, said “I’m going to draw a really detailed illustration of a hospital being demolished by a big wrecking ball labelled ‘privatisation’.
“It will go down in history as a witty and erudite assessment of modern British politics.”
Polling station volunteer, Elizabeth King, said, “We look forward to Tom’s little drawing. I’m sure we will all agree it was an absolute waste of his time drawing it, and our time looking at it.
“Then we’ll pop it in the bin.”