Zsa Zsa Gabor to marry St Peter

author avatar by 8 years ago

Zsa Zsa Gabor has announced her engagement to St Peter after a ‘whirlwind romance’ since they met yesterday.

Peter, who will be her 9th husband, claims to be to be ‘completely smitten’ with the Hollywood bombshell and is understood already to have handed her the keys to the pearly gates – which she intends to keep no matter what happens.

The wedding is expected to be attended by many of the husbands she has had, several of them her own.

Peter is said to have beaten off several suitors including King Solomon, who Zsa Zsa described as ‘lacking style’ after he described her breasts as being like ‘twin fawns of a gazelle that graze amongst lilies.’

Exclusive rights to cover the event have been acquired by Hello! Magazine, although the publication will be changing its name to Goodbye in her memory.

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“It’s a long time since we had Gabor’s sort of glamour up here,” said the Angel Williamsiel in an interview to be published in the next edition.

“I mean Joan of Arc looked pretty good in Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure but the reality was somewhat different, let me tell you. And Mother Theresa…had a different sort of fame and appeal.

“But Pete…as soon as he saw Zsa Zsa he was knocked cold. Completely swept off his feet – didn’t even need his wings.”

Although the marriage is already being described as the social event of all eternity, whispers have already linked Gabor with the Prophet Hosea, after she was overheard describing him as a man who really knows how to treat a woman.

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