‘Brushing teeth at work’ added to psychopath test

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People who brush their teeth at work are almost certainly psychopaths, according to experts.

Leading academics at the Institute of Psychology conducted the most comprehensive study into ‘everyday’ psychopathic behaviour and concluded that some additional key identifiers should be added to the Hare Psychopathy Checklist.

“We found that 98% of people who brushed their teeth at work scored extremely highly on the test, and after rigorous assessment, all of those test subjects were confirmed as dangerous psychopaths,” Professor Paul Sangam said.

“While a small number of people had legitimate excuses for brushing their teeth in the toilets at their workplace, the vast majority were just seeking a sick thrill.

“Witnessing it is one of those feelings that is hard to quantify, a sense of unease and you instinctively don’t trust this sort of behaviour even though on the face of it, it’s actually good hygiene.

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“Now we know that there’s a clear scientific link between this disturbing activity and dangerous mental illness.”

A number of patients who had previously been diagnosed with the condition were also surveyed about their dental hygiene habits in the workplace and 100% admitted to brushing in the office bathroom.

Author of best-selling book “The Psychopath Test” Jon Ronson said, “I’m going to have to add another chapter to the book.

“I never made the connection when I was conducting my own research, but it all seems so obvious now.”

Other activities that were added to the checklist included taking phone calls on the train, smiling within the M25 and jogging for pleasure.