Grown adult explaining to child that ‘there is no bogeyman’ still regularly terrified by stories in Daily Mail

author avatar by 8 years ago

A grown adult explaining to his child that they don’t need to be scared of the entirely fictional bogeyman, still finds himself regularly frightened and angry at things he reads in the Daily Mail.

Simon Williams, 38, explained to his son Jake that, “The bogeyman is a fictional construct designed to elicit complicit behaviour from those who are exposed to the stories.

“You don’t need to be scared; it’s not real. Once you realise that these stories are made up and exaggerated purely to frighten you into doing what we, the people in power, actually want, they no longer hold any power over you.

“You’ll never look at the world in the same way again.”

Justin Matthews, a friend of Simon’s, told us, “That sounds a lot like Si. He’s not the most self-aware of individuals. We’ve tried explaining that the Daily Mail is a bit like a fireside camp story designed to make you wet your bed. Only you repeatedly pay them for the privilege.

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“It made no difference. Maybe you’ll have more luck?”

When confronted with the truth about the Daily Mail, Williams sat shocked for several minutes, before telling us, “I don’t understand, are you telling me that these Daily Mail articles are telling me lies purely to make sure I react the way they want me to?

“Do blueberries not give me cancer? Is a Romanian migrant not hiding in wait to murder me in my sleep?

“Before I believe any of this, I think I should probably check it out on Infowars.”

I think, therefore I am (not a Daily Mail reader)

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