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A man with no flying experience has been given a job as an airline pilot after he declared himself to be the anti-crash pilot of the people.
He saw off the other candidates for the position after insisting that passengers had had enough of pilots who were in the pockets of liberal Civil Aviation Authority elites.
“I will fly planes faster, more safely and passengers will be more comfortable,” he promised.
“I will take back control from establishment autopilots and make flying great again.”
Despite concerns that the appointment could lead to an out-of-control right-wing, some passengers have welcomed the news.
“This is great news for ordinary passengers,” said aerosceptic Simon Williams.
“With a people’s pilot in the cockpit, we can ignore pre-fight safety demonstrations and break free from the shackles of interfering air traffic controllers.”
