Tuesday 1 November 2016 by Craig Pullen

Nans re-launch nationwide ‘you won’t feel the benefit’ indoor coat removal campaign

Nan take off your coat or you won't feel the benefit

The country’s leading Nans have relaunched their campaign for people to take their coats off when indoors, insisting that otherwise, you won’t “Feel The Benefit”.

The removal should take place even if it’s just for a small amount of time, according to a Nan spokesperson.

The advice, based on decades of extensive research by leading Nans across the nation, is to be published and distributed with a leaflet for all grandparents to display near their front doors, next to the thermometer from that trip to Spain they had back in the 70’s.

One grandchild, a man in his 40’s, told us, “I’ve been popping in to see my Nan on the way home from work just to make sure that she’s got milk and eggs – a flying visit, a quick pop in and back out again,

“Usually, I’m there for less than five minutes, but she won’t even engage me in conversation unless I’ve removed my jacket.

“I’ve tried to explain to her that the science behind her argument is weak at best, and that I should keep my coat on to retain the warmth built up within its fibres, rather than dissipating it, but she just won’t have it.

“She just keeps repeating ‘Otherwise you won’t feel the benefit’ until I agree to remove it.

“The most embarrassing thing is that when I have removed it, she then comments about how fat I’ve become and that I used to be such a good-looking boy, before offering me a dripping sandwich and some cream cake.”

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