Tuesday 18 October 2016

I married Donald for his wonderful bedside manner, claims Melania Trump

Melania Trump has defended her husband against accusations he sexually assaulted other women by explaining it was his impeccable manners that first attracted her to the billionaire businessman.

Speaking to CNN, Melania was keen to ensure people tried to see the ‘kind and generous’ man she married, rather than the arsehole who keeps insisting on appearing in public and saying things on social media.

She told reporters, “It’s so rare to find someone these days who has both screwed over loads of people in business, but who is also the perfect gentleman behind closed doors – but in Donald that’s who I found.

“The fact that he’s worth a few billion – or so he keeps telling me – is entirely beside the point.

“I can assure you, when he was trying to get me into bed he was kind and generous, and it worked – so why would he need to be so crude with these other women?

“Plus, he’s an old man now so you should be nice to him – the doctors tell me he might only have a few years left before he leaves me all alone with his money. A very short few years.

“Hardly any in fact.

“Now look at me smiling.”

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