Donald Trump has launched a scathing attack on Hillary Clinton, accusing her of having a ‘woman’s period’ and claiming that her so-called pneumonia is just a cover story to hide her inherent woman’s weakness.
“There is no pneumonia,” said the goblin-handed hair innovator.
“I was recently made aware that many females suffer from something known medically as a ‘woman’s period’ where crazy stuff happens, and they get a boil and all stuff comes out of them like worms and yoghurt mixed with sadness.
“According to my research, men rarely get these woman’s periods and therefore I am clearly the superior choice to be President of the United States of the America.
“I can also retrieve small items from jars with small necks.”
Trump’s supporters have seized on Mrs Clinton’s malady.
“Shit,” said Chuck Williams, a moon-landing denier from Fuckknuckle, Arkansas.
“I don’t want no woman’s periods going on in that there White House.”
“How’s that gonna be if you got ISIS and Putin and some Australians in to talk about how we get the Muslims out of Mexico, and all of a sudden the President has to go do some crazy woman’s shit.
“That ain’t gonna make America great again.”
It is understood that Mr Trump’s staff are currently drawing lots for who will explain to the candidate about the menopause, as he’s never stayed with a woman long enough to have any first-hand experience of it.