Olympian ostracised for refusing to bite medal for photographers

The photography industry has ostracised Olympian Simon Williams for refusing to bite his Bronze medal.

Williams, who won bronze in one of those shooting events normally won by a man who looks like your dad, said he found it strange to be asked to bite his medal for the photographers.

He explained “Firstly, I believe the International Olympic Committee when they say this medal is bronze – what is it about their track record of cutting corners and maximising profits that makes you think they can’t be trusted?

“And second of all, I wouldn’t know the difference between bronze and imitation bronze just from biting it.

“I’m a delivery driver, not a metallurgist.

Professional sports photographers, however, have claimed that Williams has left them without any useable photos which they can sell to the papers.

As one explained, “Mo’s got the Mo-bot, Bolt has got the lightning bolt; everyone else has got the ‘biting the medal face’ – that’s what the public wants.

“I can’t sell a photo which screams ‘fat man grinning like he’s won at bingo’.

“Unless he’s nude, or on benefits, then the Daily Mail might be interested.”