Britain looking forward to America having a President they can look down on again

author avatar by 8 years ago

Britain has this morning breathed a sigh of relief at the news America will finally have a political leader they can look down on again.

The confirmation of Donald Trump as the republican party nominee for the presidency confirms the USA will have a binary choice of the devil or the deep blue sea in November.

Britain has been labouring under the cloud that their former colony has leadership that people tend to ‘like’ and ‘respect’, and it’s come as a great relief that the Democratic and Republican candidates between them guarantee that’s going to come to a juddering stop.

Hillary Clinton is widely acknowledged even by her own supporters as a mendacious incompetent, whilst Donald Trump sincerely believes those words to be high praise indeed.

The Trump campaign often compares itself to that of Ronald Reagan in 1980 – to the extent of using its ‘Make America Great Again’ slogan – but missing that he’s proposing to build a wall when Reagan called upon people to tear them down.

Meanwhile, Hillary Clinton has displayed a disconcertingly game disregard for basic security protocols for someone who hopes to have several thousand atom bombs at her disposal.

“The main difference – in fact possibly the only major difference – between Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton is that at least you’d see Trump coming,” we were told.

“Hillary would stab you in the back to get what she wants, whilst Donald would stab you in the front.

“This isn’t praise, by the way. We just think he lacks the imagination to walk around you.”

No matter who wins, Britain plans to make snootily disparaging remarks about them for the next four years whilst being silently relieved that no matter how bad their political leadership is, at least it’s not one of those two.