Britain’s recipients of the new living wage have treated themselves to a McDonald’s meal at full price.
The newly minted workforce, sitting pretty on £7.20 an hour, used their newfound wealth to splash out on the kind of meal they could previously only dream of consuming.
“No coupons from parking tickets here, I think you’ll find!” beamed waiter, Simon Williams.
“This quarter-pounder with cheese value meal is going down mighty fine, I can tell you – just the regular size, mind you. We got the living wage, not a winning lotto ticket.
“The fun doesn’t end here; later on, the wife and I will be buying food at the supermarket for both ourselves AND the children, and once the kids are in bed we shall make sweet love with the use of brand-name lubricants.
“Now, if you’ll excuse me, rather than the instant shite in the kitchen of my workplace, there is a STARBUCKS down the street with my name on it, mainly thanks to their insistence on writing my name on their cups.”