Danish government not interested in anything from Elizabeth Duke

The Danish government has today told Syrian asylum seekers that they can keep as much of their jewellery as they like if it comes from Elizabeth Duke, as they have no interest in it.

After being criticised for plans to take valuable personal items away from asylum seekers to contribute to their food and housing costs, the Danish government insisted the rule does not extend to gaudy tat.

A spokesperson for the Danish immigration service explained, “This new rule is designed to assist with the financial burden of helping asylum seekers, and we don’t see how a heart-shaped necklace crammed full of fake diamonds that also happens turns your skin green is going to help with that?

“So it’s probably just easier if you explain how all the cheap stuff is of sentimental value, because we’re not going to touch that, apparently.

“But don’t try to pretend your Rolex was your grandpa’s, we’re not stupid.”

Human Rights organisations have criticised the move, insisting we should look to history to see what happened the last time a vulnerable group were stripped of their assets before being packed onto a train and shipped off to the ‘countryside’ by a European government.

However the Danish spokesperson continued,”This is nothing like the Nazis and Jews.”

“No it isn’t, shut up.”

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