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The End of All Things has been heralded by people being allowed to stand on the left on Tube escalators, theologians have confirmed.
The move by London Underground is believed to presage the end of civilisation, with the ultimate destruction of all that is good as the only possible outcome.
With the one inviolable rule of social interaction in London cast aside, experts now fear forty years of darkness, volcanos, earthquakes, and dogs and cats living together before the whole lot goes tits up in a rain of fire and blood.
“We did warn London Underground this would happen”, Religious leaders told us.
“‘Stand on the right’ is the bedrock upon which anything resembling civilisation is held together.
“The Revelation of St John the Divine is actually pretty clear on the matter.
“Lo, I looked, and I saw, a pale rider, and he stood upon the left hand of the escalator. He did not walk, and nor did he stand aside, even unto those who said excuse me in a really loud voice. And all was woe, for this was both the destroyer of worlds and really annoying.”
Already society has begun to crumble, as commuters are reported to be talking to each other on the train to bitch about the bloody stupid new rule instead of studiously ignoring each other, although passengers on the DLR are still smugly hoping to swept up the heaven in the rapture.
