Justin Bieber’s penis was on damage control today after being caught in a compromising photo featuring the singer’s exposed face.
Simon Williams, a 38 year-old penis, was photographed on a balcony with the singer’s face via telescopic lens in a photograph that has been passed around more times than your mum.
“Obviously I’m incredibly embarrassed” said Williams, from an awful, awful mouth.
“No self-respecting penis wants to be photographed alongside Justin Bieber’s face, not even ironically.”
The photograph has been described as “amazing” by individuals who have never actually seen anything to warrant actual amazement.
“The more tedious might ask ‘what’s the difference between you and his face?’ and to those people I would recommend that you have a little respect for me and my accomplishments as an artist, not to mention my privacy,” said Williams.
“Luckily, being who I am, I know an awful lot of lawyers, so I suggest that photographer keeps aside some of his 30 pieces of silver.”
“I don’t see why he’s picking on me anyway, I’m only little.”