Donald Trump has stepped up his attack on the character of President Obama by claiming that he is a Dark Lord of the Sith.
“Some guy called Crazy Bob choo choo man tweeted me,” said Trump, visibly flinching as a female reporter entered the room.
“And he said this guy, this President Obama, was a Lord of the Sith, and we should call him Darth Obama. I mean, who am I to contradict the guy, he definitely seems to know what he’s talking about, right?”
Other Republican candidates were quick to enter the debate.
“I would definitely not want a Dark Lord of the Sith to be the US President, they’re the most evil creatures in the universe,” said Neurosurgeon and colossal prick Ben Carson.
“Although it’s probably not as bad as a Muslim being President, that’s very much still the nightmare scenario.”
However future autoerotic asphyxiation sex scandal candidate Bobby Jindal was more considered.
“I believe a Dark Lord of the Sith could be President of America,” he said, to no one in particular.
“But he would have to put down his lightsabre and swear on a Bible, which would prove that, like all other Presidents, he would never, ever do any bad things ever.”
Mr Trump also took the opportunity to confirm that he still did not know what Hamas was.
“Something you put in a sandwich?” he guessed.