Friday 24 April 2015

Beautiful woman blissfully unaware she’s actually very boring to talk to

beautiful woman boring

A beautiful woman is completely unaware she’s not very interesting to talk to, we can report today.

Kelly Puppy-Bapps, 23, is convinced she is a scintillating conversationalist as men hang on every word she says.

Kelly first noticed her ability to hold a room spellbound when she went into her first pub, and has spent years believing this is because people find what she says interesting.

Kelly’s boyfriend Dave told us that the first time they met at a party he spent hours sitting and listening to her as he couldn’t safely stand up ‘without his trouser-tent being bloody obvious’, and she’s remained convinced that he likes listening to her ever since.

“The time from getting home from work to going to bed is the toughest,” he told us.

“At any moment there’s the danger she might want to talk about kittens, crystals, or an article she read in Marie Claire.”

The couple spend their evenings watching DVD box sets so the conversation can be kept on subjects like ‘Walter White is not very nice’ and how great it would be to own a dragon like ‘Dennis Taggything from Game of Thrones’.

“At least when she laughs she jigs up and down, which makes it easier to look like I’m nodding,” Dave added.

When asked, Kelly confirmed she was only going out with Dave because he’s loaded, and she’ll trade up in five seconds flat when the chance arises.

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