Marvel Studios today confirmed that the next instalment in the Iron Man franchise will focus on a battle between Tony Stark and Krishnan Guru-Murthy, the housewife’s choice of the Channel 4 News Team.
The film will open with a typical press interview around Tony Stark’s latest invention, which goes well until Krishnan brings up the thorny subject of Tony’s father, Howard Stark (the founding member of former weapons company, Stark Industries) – a topic which has sod-all to do with the invention that Tony is there to actually discuss.
Stark will then abruptly leave the interview but still retain his trademark likeability, quipping “it’s getting a bit too Diane Sawyer” with a charming smile, leaving Guru-Murthy embarrassed, seething with rage and swearing vengeance upon Stark.
“It’s going to be a hell of a ride” said Michael Mouse, Head of Marketing for Marvel Studios.
“I’m personally looking forward to the mid-film battle, where Guru-Murthy tracks down Stark in his coastal mansion and charges the front door with the Channel 4 News Tank, screaming ‘In today’s news: smug-faced science-bastard found crushed to death! HAHAHAHA!’.”
“It’s going to be very special.”
It is not yet known if any of the Avengers will be making cameos, but it has been confirmed that Jon Snow will be donning a black-leather cat-suit to assist Guru-Murthy, and at one point to challenge Stark’s assistant/girlfriend, Pepper Potts, to a fist-fight.
“I’m not sure whose idea that was,” sighed Michael Mouse, “actually I’m fairly sure Jon just showed up on set one day with the suit and refused to leave.”
“I guess he was just really keen to grapple around on the floor with Gwyneth Paltrow; but then, who isn’t?”