Scottish referendum parties do battle for lucrative North Korean endorsement

As campaigning in the Scottish referendum enters its final phase, both sides have pulled out all the stops to woo the lucrative North Korean endorsement.

With the ‘Yes’ campaign currently appearing to be Kim Jong-Un’s preferred choice, the ‘No’ campaign have begun tempting the North Korean leader with promises of cakes and bryl cream.

‘Yes’ campaign leader Alex Salmond explained, “The backing of the North Korean establishment is great news for the campaign for an independent Scotland.”

“Here is a man with a fine grasp on international diplomacy, and he knows better than anyone what a truly independent nation can actually achieve.”

“If an independent Scotland can he half of what North Korea is, then I’ll be a happy man.”

“Plus I quite like the idea of being called Supreme Leader – it has a nice ring to it.”

North Korean endorsement

‘No’ campaign leader Alistair Darling has said that Kim Jong Un is likely to change his endorsement when he considered the possibility of part of North Korea wanting to become independent.

Darling told reporters, “I asked the Supreme Leader in a call, how he would feel if North Pyongan wanted to leave North Korea and become its own independent country.”

“Admittedly, he said he would just kill them all, but after I explained that’s not really an option here he sort of understood.”

“I’m confident he will back our side soon and prove to be the edge we need.”

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