Pistorius judge to offer Ant & Dec lessons in building suspense

Britain’s Got Talent presenters Ant & Dec are to receive coaching in the art of building tension from the judge in Oscar Pistorius’ trial, according to sources this morning.

Show runner Simon Cowell was said to be intrigued with how Judge Thokozile Masipa managed to keep everyone enthralled for hours on end without actually revealing the result to anyone.

After finally delivering a guilty verdict in the case some twenty-four hours after beginning her address, Cowell has ordered his executives to find out ‘her secret’, and bring it back to his shows in the UK.

As one ITV executive explained, “This is Simon’s top priority now. His focus has been finding talent in front of the camera, but the judge seems like she could revolutionise the approach behind it.”

“Like Simon told me, imagine those skills taken from the courtroom and put into to prime time television? Imagine the advertisers we could attract if no-one dared to switch off.”

“I don’t mean to deride Ant & Dec, they’ve become very good at saying things like ‘and the winner is….coming up after this short break’, but that only gives them a few minutes grace.”

“Imagine that suspense running into hours, or even days – that’s what the Judge Masipa has done here, and we love it.”

“She is a true master in the art of suspense, and Simon is absolutely determined to get her on board and to get the boys learning from her.”

When told of the approach, Ant or Dec said, “Fair enough, but I’m not wearing a wig.”

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