Queen accidentally names new aircraft carrier ‘Dave’

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The Queen has accidentally named the Royal Navy’s latest aircraft carrier ‘Dave’ after deciding she wanted to keep Elizabeth for herself.

She smashed a bottle of whisky on the hull of the newly christened 65,000-tonne ‘HMS Dave’ in Rosyth, Fife – the first of two new Royal Navy aircraft carriers being built.

One worker at the shipyard explained, “We’d all expected her to name it HMS Queen Elizabeth, as planned. But apparently she took one look at the massive grey warship and declared that ‘it looks more like a Dave to one’.”

“The she smashed the whisky and it was all over. They’re busy painting the new name on the side as we speak. It’s caused quite a bit of hassle to be honest.”

“She seems perfectly happy with it, but the big fear now is that she’ll come up next time and call the one ‘Chas’.”

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HMS Dave

Palace insiders explained that the Queen felt uncomfortable giving her name to a 280 metre long chunk of metal.

“It’s not very becoming, is it?” the insider told reporters.

“Even though they’re technically worth about the same amount of money.”