‘Racist, drug-taking’ Youth PCC promoted to Chief Constable

Kent’s first youth police and crime commissioner (PCC) has been promoted to Chief Constable, after her tweets revealed an uncaring monster.

Paris Brown, now 17, made inappropriate comments as a child, which hinted at racism, homophobia and drug-taking.

Thanks to the Communications Bill and a crack team of coppers who can read, Ms Brown was ‘singled out’ for a controversial new fast-track programme.

“The Police are always on the look-out for hypocritical bigots”, said a spokesman. “We find they fit in well, and make very good senior officers.”

PCC promoted

But despite Brown’s Twitter account revealing a willingness to act without thinking, her critics are worried that she may since have grown up.

“It’s all very well paying lip service to intolerance and hatred, but how do we know she really means it?”, asked a journalist David Crosby from the Daily Mail.

“If she’s not been properly mentored, she could have matured and become a sensible, balanced and liberal young adult.”

“It’s a slippery slope if the Police start recruiting people like that.”

Crosby urged Brown to ‘step up to the plate’ and ‘do something awful’, to reassure readers that they’re still in safe hands.

“We want her to stop a black man in a nice car, or arrest a low-continence pensioner for cottaging”, demanded Crosby.

Brown hopes to silence her critics soon by ‘tackling the real criminals’.

As she revealed, “my officers are shutting this paper down, by misusing the powers gained from the Leveson inquiry.”

Advertisement

Classic BritishComedy tees

Celebrating the best of British comedy from the 70s, 80s, 90s and beyond.

See the full collection →