Facebook adds new ‘soul donation’ timeline feature

author avatar by 12 years ago

Facebook has today unveiled a new ‘soul donor’ feature which they claim will allow users to contribute to the social network, even after death.

Facebook officials have worked alongside a number of soul-gathering other-world entities to ensure that the new feature represents the most value to users of the social network.

Founder Mark Zuckerberg said, “We have spent years developing an online community that allows Facebook and its advertisers to glean every last morsel of value from your tedious real-life existence.”

“And now we can continue that process of value extraction when you no longer exist.”

“Honestly, this is my best idea ever!”

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Facebook donor option

Critics have said that the default option of the new feature, whereby Mark Zuckerberg absorbs all souls not proactively given to someone else, will simply see him become more powerful than ever before and essentially immortal.

Technology analyst Simon Williams told us, “He’s already a foot taller and starting to glow, even though only a few dozen Facebook users have died since the new feature was introduced.”

“I can only imagine the devastation he will bring to the world in a few months time when the number of deaths runs into the tens of thousands.”

“It truly is the end of days.”