If you scrap the 50p tax rate we won’t have to find ways to avoid paying it, insist business leaders

More than 500 business leaders have called for the 50p top rate of tax to be scrapped in next month’s budget so that they can spend less on employing tax advisers who help them avoid paying it.

In a letter to the Daily Telegraph, the entrepreneurs, who pay the 50p tax rate, said that the 50p tax rate was damaging people who pay the 50p tax rate.

The letter, which was bound in human skin and inked from the blood of a child, said: “We urge the chancellor to urgently consider scrapping the top rate of tax in his forthcoming budget because it is costing us a small fortune trying to find loopholes that will allow us not to pay it”.

One wealthy entrepreneur said the sums of money spent trying to avoid paying tax is a disincentive to job creation.

He said: “Times are hard for people that aren’t as well off as we are, and placing the burden on us of employing expensive tax advisers is unfair on our employees, who have to pay for them by having their wages cut”.

Business leaders are also urging the government to rush through changes to employment law that will allow them to treat employees like shit for longer periods of time without any troublesome tribunals.

“As it stands, employers have to have a valid reason to sack someone”, explained CBI director general John Cridland.

“The government should allow us to behave like complete arseholes for a whole 24 months without having the stress of ungrateful troublemakers complaining.

“After all, if they don’t like it there’s a long queue of people looking for an opportunity to be treated like worthless scum in the workplace instead of at the job centre.”

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