Members of the government have this morning been staring blankly at each other without a clue what to do next after finally implementing something which proved to be extremely popular with the public.
The Police.uk website, which gives residents a view of how thoroughly dangerous their neighbourhood is, was inundated with visitors, leaving it off-line for most of yesterday.
A Home Office spokesperson said, “I’ve been in politics for thirty years and I’ve never implemented anything even remotely popular with the electorate – I’m really quite unsure what to do next.”
“The site went down because we were completely unprepared for people to want to use it.”
“We assumed people would think it was useless, like everything else that we do. That’s how we manage on a day to day basis, we plan for abject failure and disappointment on a national scale.”
Police.uk website down
Home Secretary Theresa May has been struggling to field questions about the new website, insisting, “They really don’t prepare you for this sort of decision making at party HQ.”
“I’ve been avoiding any direct questions about my involvement in the site all morning, how do you handle being involved in something that fails because it’s too popular?”
“All my platitudes about ‘tough choices’ and everything being ‘fair’ just don’t seem to fit for a website that keeps crashing because it’s so popular.”
“I really should be taking credit for something people appear to like, but putting your name against something when you’re in government is the first thing they teach you about when you get here.”
“And they say don’t do it under any circumstances, for clarification.”