by The government has denied claims by the Institute of Fiscal Studies that planned spending cuts could be “formidably hard to deliver”, insisting that they find making cuts incredibly easy, actually.
The warning comes in the IFS’ Green Budget, which aims to assess the government’s financial position, before having all of its comments completely ignored when the real budget arrives.
“Let me assure you making cuts is not a problem for us,” revealed a government spokesperson.
“Making cuts which affect other people is what we were born to do, and I would like to reassure everyone that it comes perfectly naturally to everyone here in the government.”
“Do you have a pen? Watch this – there – I just signed a document that will cut funding to disabled children by 10%. Easy peasy. Honestly, the IFS shouldn’t be in the slightest bit concerned about our ability to make cuts.”
IFS warns ‘cuts will be difficult’
The IFS has warned that the combination of the proposed cuts and slow economic growth would mean that wiping out the UK’s national deficit by the next general election is about as likely as Nick Clegg joining 80’s pop combo Kajagoogoo and embarking upon a university tour.
“You have to remember, the consequences of cuts is an entirely different issue to actually making the cuts,” explained a Whitehall insider.
“Making cuts is easy for us, but difficult for those affected by the cuts. The consequences of cuts are difficult for those affected by cuts, but don’t really impact on us.”
“So yeah, there you have it right there, they’re completely different.”
