by Pound store owners around Britain are today re-branding themselves after the VAT increase to 20% raised the price of their vast selection of tat to one pound and two pence.
Store owners have been so consumed by the complexity of succinctly surmising the change in pricing policy, they hadn’t the spare thought capacity to be angry with a Coalition for effectively destroying a brand that had taken years to develop.
Martin Parkin, owner of ‘The Pound Store’ in Bristol said his business depended heavily on poor people being able to determine the equally poor quality of his stock.
“The first name we came up with was ‘The Just a Bit of Another Pound Store,’ which we liked, but felt the unfortunate acronym it presented, TJ BAPS, could be misconstrued as something completely inappropriate.”
“Then we thought about ‘The VAT Affected Pound Store’, so we would be prepared for any impulsive rises in the future, but we admitted defeat there.”
VAT Rise
Parkin admitted he has had great difficulty explaining the VAT rise to his customers this morning.
“Your average poundland customer isn’t the most financial proficient person you’ll ever meet.”
“I’ve developed this white board drawing, which shows a cartoon George Osborne taking all of our bloody money. It’s pretty accurate to be honest.”
Customer Janine Williams told us, “This is ridiculous, five rolls of sellotape is worth a pound, I just wouldn’t pay £1.02, that’s a complete rip-off.”
“The coalition can stick their VAT up their arse if they think I’m spending more than a pound on six AA batteries in future.”
