Bomb plot trio to inherit 70 year-old virgins

author avatar by 15 years ago

Three men who plotted to blow up liquid bombs on flights from the UK to North America have been jailed for life, leaving their heavenly reward of 72 virgins to age gracefully in their absence.

After being found guilty last week, Abdulla Ahmed Ali, Tanvir Hussain, and Assad Sarwar, have had the prospect of eternity with 72 virgins delayed by a sentence of at least 40 years.

A leading terrorism expert told us, “There is little written about what happens to the virgins of failed martyrs.”

“The leading theory is that the virgins age for as long as the martyrs fail, which means the virgins for these three will likely by in their 70’s by the time they get there.”

Pass time

NewsThump Hoodies

There is also the question of what the virgins will now do for the next 40 years.

“I suspect there a plenty of board games up there.  Maybe even a PS3?” continued the terrorism expert.

“What we can’t discount is that they will have their head turned by a cute looking suicide bomber during those 40 years.”

“So it’s very possible they’ll not only get 70 year-old hags, they’ll also have been round the block a few times over the years.”

“Which is only fair, as I imagine they’ll have their own sexual awakening whilst in prison, whether they want it or not.”

NewsThump Best sellers