Clinton tells N Korea to stop ‘being such a dick’

author avatar by 15 years ago

New US Secretary of State Hilary Clinton has spoken out during a South Korean visit, telling the North Korean Government to ‘stop acting like such a dick all of the bloody time’.

Mrs Clinton, visiting the South Korean capital Seoul as part of her inaugural Asian tour is quoted as saying, “I’ve known some dicks in my time, but you fuckers take the biscuit.”

She took a parental tone when explaining that the rest of the world was keen to prevent further nuclear testing in the North of the country.

“Look, I know what you’re doing up there.  So stop playing with your ‘big rocket’.  If I have to come up there and catch you at it, it’s going to be very embarrassing for both of us.”

It is thought this type of straight talking is exactly what President Obama had in mind when he promoted Clinton to one of the most senior posts within his cabinet.

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“That’s the great things about Hilary,” confided a White House insider, “She calls a dick and dick, no matter how big it is.”

“If anyone can sort out the mess over there, she can.  But if she fails miserably, it’ll all blow over in a year or two anyway.”

North Korean leader Kim Jong-il was unavailable for comment.