A Newcastle man has caused an uproar in the shopping centres of the north-east by purchasing what locals are referring to as a ‘coat’.
The man, who wishes to remain nameless, asked at several male clothing retail outlets for something to wear over his t-shirt.
“At first we thought he meant some sort of jumper,” said Kevin Blackwell, a Newcastle-based retailer, “But we don’t sell many of those, as you can probably imagine.
“Then he insisted that what he actually wanted was a ‘coat’. With a ‘hood’.
“I couldn’t believe it, I mean, I got him to repeat it several times before I actually believed the words were coming out of his mouth.”
Blackwell continued, “We were sure he was taking the piss, as no one in Newcastle has bought a coat since 1973, and Coaty McCoaterson is STILL living that down.”
The man, a 35-year-old accountant, explained his quest to reporters looking to report on the incident.
“It was a bit cold, like, and I really didn’t see what the big deal was.
“I thought about buying an insulating fat suit like a lot of the others up here, but I didn’t see the point of the extra expense.”
He finally tracked down a clothing store willing to sell him a coat after following the A1 South for almost 50 miles until he reached Harrogate.
“Yes, it gets me some funny looks from the locals,” he later admitted. “But on the bright side, when it’s cold I no longer shake like a defecating dog.”
Get your own Geordie insulation.