Tuesday 9 January 2018 by Lucas Wilde

Baldrick named new Minister for Plans

Baldrick the minister for plans

As her latest cabinet reshuffle concludes, Theresa May has made her most sensible choice for a cabinet Minister yet.

Baldrick has been named the new Minister for Plans, having displayed exceptional ability in the field of cunning between the 15th and 20th centuries.

“This is definitely one of the Prime Minster’s better choices of late,” agreed political pundit, Simon Williams.

“Government insiders are already claiming that Baldrick’s cunning mind will prove to be invaluable when it comes to navigating Brexit, managing the economy and finding out exactly what the hell to do about everyone’s bins.

“When your team already contains people like David Davis, adding Baldrick to the cabinet certainly adds some intellectual heft to the organisation – I’m sure the EU is keeping an eye on the developments.

“He appointment certainly makes up for the utterly farcical decision to not only leave Jeremy Hunt where he is, but to then add to his portfolio.”

Not everyone was in agreement about the positive aspects of the appointment of the new minister for plans.

Business leader Edmund Blackadder, said, “I don’t want to be unkind to Baldrick, but he makes it so terribly difficult to praise him.

“With that in mind, I have to say this is the worst appointment since my great-grandfather booked in for a short back and sides at Sweeney Todd’s Barber Shop.”

Baldrick said, “Thank you, Mr B, for those kind words.

“Anyway, I look forward to being the Minister in charge for Pans. I’ve got a lovely wok that we can start with.”

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