Donald Trump announces US plan to join G1 group of countries

US President Donald Trump has today outlined his plan for the United States to join the G1 group of countries, the organisation for the largest economy in the world.

The formation of the G1 organisation has come as a result of this week’s G7 summit, during which the Trump has spent an annoying amount of time listening to smaller countries moan about things it has no interest in.

President Trump told the reporters, “We will have a new logo and everything.  Probably even a flag of some sort.

“We have found that in the G20 meetings it takes a really long time to come to any sort of decision, we spent two hours this morning on what to have for lunch.”

“The G7 is marginally better, but the French and Italians can still go on about inconsequential domestic issues for hours and hours.

“However, in the G1 we fully expect to make significant global decisions in just minutes – not as the United States you understand, but as the G1 group of countries.”

G1 meetings are said to be planned for during this weekend at Mar-a-Lago, and whilst the President enjoys a Big Mac in front of the TV.

“This is one of the significant benefits of the G1, productive meetings on global issues can be held pretty much whenever the member country feels like it,” said the White House Press Secretary, Sarah Sanders.

“The president had a G1 meeting in bed last night and we didn’t even know about it until this morning.

“Canada isn’t going to like the agreements that were made, I’ll tell you that much.”

Boris Johnson last night made a desperate attempt to form the G2 group of countries, but was rebuffed at the gates of the White House after being mistaken for a vagrant.

Advertisement

NewsThumpNotebooks

Somewhere to write down everything that’s wrong with the world. You may need several.

See the full collection →