You’re on your own, Manchester told

The rest of the country has told Manchester to get lost in a major new experiment in devolution.

Under the terms of a new deal, Manchester will get full control of budgets and the NHS in return for agreeing to pretend it doesn’t know the rest of the country.

“This is a great deal for both Manchester and the rest of the country,” said the chief executive of Liverpool council.

“They get a big pile of money and we get to act like we’ve never met.”

If the experiment is successful, other regions like Doncaster, Islington, Burnley and most of Wales also might be offered large sums so long as they don’t let the door hit them on the way out.

However, pro-devolution campaigners aren’t 100% confident, as it has been pointed out Scotland recently rejected a similar deal at the last minute when it became clear all the money they’d been promising themselves didn’t actually exist.

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