Complex ‘sell-by’ and ‘use-by’ mystery could finally be solved, reveal scientists

The mystery that has puzzled humankind for centuries involving the difference between the words ‘sell’ and ‘use’ could finally be reaching its conclusion, according to a team of theoretical physicists and cosmologists.

Up until now the complexity of the mystery has left scientists completely at a loss to explain why people were throwing £12bn of edible food into the dustbin every year.

The breakthrough, which reveals a link between the word ‘sell’ and the act of purchasing something, has led scientists to conclude that the sell-by date may actually have a different meaning to the ‘use-by’ date.

“This breakthrough could revolutionise people’s ability to eat food that has absolutely nothing wrong with it,” enthused one excited professor of something sciencey.

“If we can finally discover a link between the word ‘use’ and the act of consuming something then, wow, I think we’ll have hit the jackpot.”

Sell by dates pass use-by date

Food shoppers, who have previously dismissed having a sense of smell as voodoo black magic, have remained sceptical of the findings.

“Me no like food if numbers no good,” explained 42 year old Miriam Warboys from Chepstow.

“Big shiny number make happy food,” she concluded.

Advertisement

Classic BritishComedy tees

Celebrating the best of British comedy from the 70s, 80s, 90s and beyond.

See the full collection →