Interest rate increase would boost job creation for bailiffs, insist savers

Savers have urged the Bank of England to increase interest rates, insisting that it will not only enable them to buy repossessed homes at rock-bottom prices, but will also boost jobs in the debt recovery sector.

With interest rates being held at a record low of 0.5% by the Bank of England’s Monetary Policy Committee, savers have revealed their anger at not making much money from their savings while mortgage borrowers have the cheek to just about keep a roof over their heads.

“I’m not being completely selfish,” insisted angry saver Peregrine Frimley-Jones.

“The increase in interest rates would result in some people losing their homes, but someone’s got to give notice of eviction, so it’s a good way to create jobs for bailiffs.”

“I’d also be quite happy to rent the homes that I bought cheaply back to former homeowners.”

Savers unhappy

Banks and Building Societies remain indifferent to any changes to the interest rates, with a spokesperson revealing “we’re not passing the interest rate reduction fully to borrowers, so we’re making a tidy profit as things stand.”

“If the interest rates go up and houses are repossessed and auctioned the banks will also get an immediate cash boost.”

“So, yeah, we don’t give a shit either way.”