Lawyers already looking for sponsorship deals

With the government set to allow some sentencing in English and Welsh courts to be televised, lawyers have begun frantically searching for sponsorship deals to help them make even more money.

Peter Lodder QC, chairman of the Bar Council, revealed that discussions were already underway with a number of advertisers regarding the possibility of lawyers sporting an array of company logos on their clothing.

“What better time could there be to draw the public’s attention to major brands than when sentencing a dirty paedo,” he insisted.

“Seeing a murderer get sent down because of the hard work of a Nike sponsored lawyer will allow the public to view brands in a whole new light.”

Televised justice

Mr Lodder was also keen to see the introduction of product placement within the justice system.

“People in the dock facing strong questioning from a prosecution lawyer can become uncomfortable and start to sweat profusely,” he said.

“If the defence lawyer was to stand up and say ‘objection m’lord! Your honour, my client is in need of some emergency personal hygiene – but with the help of this deodorant even the most guilty defendant can keep his cool’.”

“Erm, not that I’ve thought about it much.”

“Oh, oh, what about pressing the red button and playing along with the jury?”

“The lottery show on Saturdays is crying out for some interactive justice!”