‘We have to blame all migrants for the actions of the few’ insists man keen for you not to blame him for the sex offender in his own family

Nigel Farage has today doubled down on his long-held belief that the actions of a single migrant should be taken as proof of the criminal tendencies of all migrants, while simultaneously insisting his nephew’s conviction for upskirting should in no way affect how people view him personally.

Speaking from behind a pint of warm ale, Farage explained, “If one Romanian steals a handbag, it is clear evidence that immigration is an out-of-control disaster. That’s just logic. However, if my own flesh and blood is caught filming up women’s skirts in public, well, that’s just a personal matter that should not be used to smear my character, reputation, or family.

“Just because my nephew Joseph Farage admitted he was guilty of the sexual offence of upskirting, doesn’t mean all Farages are sexual offenders. His conviction is not evidence that our family’s values are not in keeping with British society. Such an assertion would be ridiculous!”

The Reform leader added that, “you can’t hold people responsible for what their relatives do,” before immediately tweeting that London Mayor Sadiq Khan should apologise for every single crime committed in the capital by someone not born within the M25.

Critics have accused Farage of hypocrisy, but Reform supporters insist the situations are entirely different, because, “Nigel is Nigel, and foreigners are foreign, which is really all you need to know.”

A spokesperson for Farage clarified that while immigration must be judged by its worst examples, the Farage family should be judged by its best examples, such as Nigel bravely appearing on reality television and managing to finish his pint before last orders is called.

At press time, Farage was reportedly working on a new campaign slogan: “All sexual offences are equal, but some immigrant sexual offences are more equal than others.”

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