Israel launches wave of missile strikes against man who looked at it funny in pub

Israel has launched a huge wave of missile strikes against a man who looked at it funny in the pub.

The missile strikes have successfully eliminated the man, along with the pub, everyone in the pub, and various other sites across the town and region, with an estimated 410 civilians dead and thousands more injured.

“Israel will not tolerate being looked at funny in the pub,” explained the Israeli Foreign Minister, Barry Maniac.

“Being looked at funny in the pub is a threat to the state of Israel. If we allow men to look at us funny in the pub without offering a robust military defence, then that could very quickly escalate to the man saying things about us and then trying to get us in the car park.

“This will not be tolerated and any other men who look at us funny in the pub will face a similar fate.”

The UN had urged restraint after the man looked at Israel funny, saying “Leave it, he’s not worth it. Let’s just go to a different pub and play some darts,” but it appears to have been ignored.

The missile strikes follow last week’s targeted drone attack against a man who accidentally bumped into Israel in the street, which killed 49 and injured 235.

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