“I will only buy Liverpool if everyone agrees to call me the club’s founder,” insists Elon Musk
by Rich Smith 2 years ago 
Billionaire Elon Musk has reportedly offered to purchase Liverpool FC, but only on the condition that the club retroactively credits him as the club’s founder.
The stipulation has left historians, fans, and reality itself scrambling to keep up.
“Liverpool is an incredible team with a rich history of success,” Musk said in a press conference conducted from the sofa where he’s been mainling Ketamine since Friday.
“But what they lack is a visionary founder – someone who can claim, without evidence, to have built the entire organisation from the ground up.”
Musk, who famously insists on being referred to as the “Founder of Tesla” despite joining the company after it was already established, explained that his involvement would bring “a certain credibility” to Liverpool’s legacy.
“We need to move past outdated concepts like ‘historical facts’ and embrace a future where we can rewrite them,” Musk continued, suggesting the club rename Anfield to “The MuskDome Powered by X.”
Liverpool executives initially balked at the demand, pointing out that the club was founded in 1892 – a full 99 years before Musk reportedly invented electricity.
However, sources say negotiations continue, as Musk has offered to transport the entire team to matches via Hyperloop pods and has promised to replace all stadium seating with ergonomic Tesla car seats.
Fans have been divided on the proposal. While some supporters expressed excitement over Musk’s financial backing, others were less enthused. “I’m all for innovation, but I draw the line at replacing You’ll Never Walk Alone with the Cybertruck horn,” said lifelong fan and season-ticket holder Simon Williams.
At press time, Musk was reportedly drafting plans to replace the club’s liver bird emblem with the letter “X,” claiming the current logo lacked a “sufficient Mars-ready aesthetic.”
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