Donald Trump spends final day going door-to-door to convince voters the election is about to be stolen from him

After the odds on a Kamala Harris victory shortened, and a reliable poll in Iowa suggested he could even lose the Republican stronghold, Trump has redoubled his efforts to convince Americans that the only way he can lose is if the election is stolen from him.

Despite failing miserably with the same tactic in 2020, Trump allies insist that telling Americans that Trump is going to win massively, despite all evidence to the contrary, is a sure fire way of motivating his base.

Trump campaign strategist Stephen Miller told us, “Look, it’s very simple, Donald Trump will win massively as shown by all of the highly-partisan polls that we believe, or the election will be stolen by the Democrats using these unreliable polls as evidence to cover their tracks.

“There is no other possibility. It is simply unthinkable that the American public will reject a convicted felon and man found liable for rape who bragged on tape about grabbing women by the p*ssy.

“It’s a clear Trump victory, or it the election stolen. End of story.”

Meanwhile, non-morons have been gearing up for potentially one of the funniest tantrums in political history.

Iowa resident Chuck Williams told us, “This presidential race should have been over the moment he was clipped by that sniper’s bullet, but he’s such a terrible candidate for President that it’s still very much in the balance.

“He might still win, but it will be close, and with this late swing amongst older women towards Harris, it’s now a very real possibility that he will lose. Again. And let’s be honest, that will be hilarious. Apart from the all violence he will incite, obviously.

“Also, did you know that no presidential candidate has ever lost the popular vote on three occasions? So that will be something nice to add to his chapter in the history books.”

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