Tory leadership contest to introduce swimsuit round and pop trivia quiz

In an attempt to really test the ability of the remaining Tory leadership contenders, it has been announced the contest will now include a swimsuit round and a pop trivia quiz.

Party insiders are hoping the change will ensure do better than the last couple of disastrous leaders chosen through more traditional means.

The swimsuit round will be held at the Droitwich Spa Lido, just outside Birmingham.

Contestants will be required to model two different swimwear outfits and parade around the pool while being scrutinised by party members.

Robert Jenrick and Tom Tugendhat are said to be looking forward to the round and are both confident of success.

James Cleverly is currently undergoing extensive plucking.

The pop trivia quiz will be held in the Royal Oak in Halesowen and will consist of ten rounds including a picture round and clips round.

Kemi Badenoch has been prewarned that attempting to use smartphones to find the answers she submits will not be accepted, nor will denying she has done something that literally everyone saw her do.

James Cleverly is expected to do well in this round as he is known to be a lifelong Bananarama fan and even declared himself President of the Parliamentary Bananarama fan club which was subsequently disbanded after only attracting one other member in the form of Sir Vince Cable.

Party insiders hope that the introduction of the swimwear round and pop quiz will help the party avoid their previous mistakes in choosing party leaders who are incompetent, unlikeable, and stupid – or some combination of all three.

After all, it can’t be any worse than the process that led to Liz Truss moving into Downing Street.