NewsThump’s message to Russia: We’ll write anything you like for WAY less than that

Like many people, we have been deeply shocked by allegations that Russian interests have been paying right-wing American content creators up to four hundred grand a month to produce material promoting Kremlin positions.

I mean, seriously, four hundred grand! We’ll do it for half that.

No, wait, less. A hundred grand a month and we’ll literally get ‘I heart Putin’ tattoos into the bargain.

Did you even see the people you were paying? A band of pasty losers in the middle of nowhere who nobody much cared what deranged bullshit they were spouting? That’s us, and we’re much cheaper than them!

Look, have you seen fuel prices here lately? Especially since you did all that completely justified and understandable invading and murder population improvement?

(See? We can do it. Get in touch on [email protected], and we’ll send you a full price list).

What we’re saying here is that if you need a new supplier of cheaply produced, low-quality, sensationalist swivel-eyed bollocks, your choices are now us, and Peter Hitchens.

Let’s face it, you can’t afford Chomsky these days, and anyway, he does it for free.

We’re sitting by the phone. Let’s talk, Vladimir.

A tenner a piece, and we’re in business.

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