Approach of Hallowe’en means Goth houses to look normal for a week or so

October means goth houses are going to look normal for a bit until Hallowe’en is over again.

For eleven months of the year goth homes, decorated with bats, black cats and skulls, appear out of the ordinary until a few brief weeks in autumn when they blossom into delightful conformity.

Families up and down the country turn to local goths for inspiration on how to decorate their homes, for whom every day is hallowe’en.

“Normally local children cross the road to avoid my house because of the great big cardboard cutout of Dracula in the front window and my skull-print brocade wallpaper”, said goth Simon Von Alucard.

“But then in October I’m suddenly cool and popular, which I find chilling and unsettling, so it’s both awful and utterly fantastic at the same time.”

“They’ve even been asking my girlfriend where she gets her clothes, as she looks like she’s dressed for an erotic funeral.”

Goths are warned to make the most of October, because when it’s over all of a sudden everyone will start thinking the complete weirdo who likes wearing chunky-knit Christmas jumpers is actually entertaining and likeable for a few weeks.