Trump confirms US has successfully re-obliterated Iran’s already obliterated military

Donald Trump has confirmed that the United States has successfully obliterated the Iranian military again, several months after assuring everyone it had already been completely obliterated.

US forces struck two Iranian rocket launchers on Larak Island in the Strait of Hormuz on Sunday, after the Revolutionary Guards were reportedly seen preparing to launch rockets carrying sea mines into the strategically important waterway.

The successful strike destroyed military equipment that experts had assumed would be extremely difficult to destroy, mainly because Donald Trump had repeatedly assured everyone it had already been destroyed.

White House spokesperson Chuck Williams told reporters, “President Trump was very clear that Iran’s military had been completely obliterated.

“So obviously we were surprised to discover two Iranian rocket launchers sitting on an Iranian island being operated by members of the Iranian military.

“However, those rocket launchers have now been obliterated too, meaning Iran’s military is once again completely obliterated. Re-obliterated. And we will continue re-obliterating them for as long as we need to.

“But hopefully this time it sticks.”

Iran subsequently retaliated by launching ballistic missiles at US-used bases in Jordan, presenting further compelling evidence that its entirely non-existent military remains surprisingly well equipped.

Williams continued, “These missiles were fired by a military that has been completely destroyed, so obviously there was never any danger.

“Nevertheless, we intercepted them, just to be safe.”

Trump has repeatedly described Iran and its military capabilities as “obliterated” during the six-month conflict, despite the country stubbornly retaining enough military capability to require the United States to keep obliterating it.

Defence analysts have warned that further Iranian attacks could now force Trump to order a third or even fourth complete obliteration of the already twice-completely-obliterated Iranian military.

Williams concluded, “Eventually Iran will run out of military.

“Or we’ll run out of synonyms for ‘destroyed’.

“Whichever happens first.”

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