‘I don’t know if the Earth revolves around the Sun,’ insists Nigel Farage

Nigel Farage has confounded medical experts, scientists, and anyone with access to a Year 5 science textbook after declaring he isn’t sure whether paracetamol causes autism, before adding that he’s “not entirely convinced about the whole Earth-revolving-around-the-Sun thing either.”

The Reform UK leader made the comments on LBC radio after Donald Trump claimed paracetamol might be linked to autism, a statement medical professionals described as “dangerously stupid,” and Farage described as “well worth considering over a pint or two after a quick fag break.”

Pressed for clarity, Farage doubled down, telling Nick Ferrari, “Look, you can’t just trust so-called experts. First, they tell us vaccines are safe. Then they tell us smoking might be bad for you. Then they say the Earth goes around the Sun. Well, I’ve stood in my garden, and I can tell you, it’s definitely the Sun that’s moving about. The shadows don’t lie, Nick!”

Scientists have tried to reassure the public that paracetamol does not, in fact, cause autism, the Earth does indeed orbit the Sun, and gravity is not “a Brussels invention designed to keep British people down.”

Farage, however, remained unmoved. He went on, “They said water boils at 100 degrees, but I’ve seen a kettle go at 97. Who’s lying there? And don’t even get me started on evolution, if humans came from monkeys, how come I’ve never seen a chimpanzee in the snug at the Dog & Duck?”

When asked if there was any scientific principle he accepted, Farage thought for a moment before replying, “I do believe immigration makes the traffic worse on the M20. That’s simple cause and effect.”

Astronomers confirmed today that, despite Farage’s doubts, the Earth will continue to orbit the Sun regardless, also confirming that, despite his delusions of grandeur, Farage himself is not at the centre of the universe.