Kid Rock to drop inaccurate words ‘Kid’ and ‘Rock’ from name

Following his appearance at Donald Trump’s pre-inauguration rally, 54-year-old Kid Rock has confirmed he is to drop the words “Kid” and “Rock” from his name as neither is actually true.

Robert Ritchie, who was born in 1971, has been inaccurately describing himself as ‘kid’ for almost three decades, and has finally admitted the jig is up.

Similarly the release of “All Summer Long” in 2008 also resulted in increased pressure on the performer to drop the word ‘Rock’ because, well, just listen to it.

“Kid Rock is changing his name to reflect his current direction as an artist,” said music industry spokesman Simon Will.I.Ams.

“He considered a rebrand to call himself ‘Karen AOR’ or possibly ‘Dad Music’, but ultimately decided to go the direction Prince did in the 1990s and just use a symbol to represent his interests.

“So from now on there’ll just be a picture of a pair of boobs covered in money, which is something we think his target audience will really get behind.”

Following suit in changing their performing names to reflect reality, from now on U2 will be called “U to do as we say”, and Adele will be known as “In the name of God, why?”