Woman devastated at realisation that son has husband’s personality

A mother can no longer deny the awful truth that her four-year-old son is developing into the same sort of tosspot as her husband.

Karen Williams loves her son Theo more than life itself. However, it has become increasingly apparent that his success in life will be severely limited because he’s inherited his father’s genes.

“I want our son to be confident and sociable,” said Karen. “I want him to love getting out and trying new things. Essentially I want him to love life.

“But all he wants to do is sit on the sofa watching telly and playing with his genitals.

“He’s started taking a liking to ‘the footy’ despite never actually kicking a ball himself.

“For Christmas, he’s asked for the special edition of ‘Silly Songs and Nursery Rhymes’ – I don’t understand, he already has that album?!

“Whenever he goes to the toilet he’s in there for half an hour playing on the iPad insisting that he’s ‘still pooing.’

“He hates his school – he’s starting calling it ‘that bloody place’ and refers to his teacher as ‘psycho bitch boss.’

“He’s so much like his father it’s scary.

“Once he went missing for several hours and I nearly called the police. I eventuality found him in the shed reading some old copies of CBeebies magazine that I thought I’d thrown away. He insisted they were ‘classics’.

“Each time I raise a concern about little Theo my husband Simon just says, ‘Don’t worry about it, I was exactly the same at that age’.

“F**king hell.”

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