Divorcing couple fight for custody of air fryer

A local couple are embroiled in a bitter custody battle over their Air Fryer, it has emerged.

Simon and Helen Williams have been locked in divorce negotiations over their five children and countertop convection oven, with neither party prepared to concede an inch.

“F**k the kids. I want the Air Fryer,” said Simon.

“Can a child cook a chicken burger 30% faster than a conventional oven? Trust me, they can’t.”

“I can see the boys at weekends, but I couldn’t go more than a few hours without my air-fried salted chilli chips,” he wept.

Meanwhile, Helen is adamant she should receive full custody of the amped-up kitchen appliance.

“He can see the Air Fryer when he starts paying for it,” she snapped.

“I’m the one who took the finance out on Klarna. I’m the only one who cooked anything edible in it. I’m the one who cleaned the f**king thing out every time he made those awful salty chips.

“If it’s a war he wants, I’ll see him in court.

“You can still get legal aid, right?”